What I'm Reading
"Children need to be enjoyed and valued, not managed" (Page 11).
"Our sense of 'I' is profoundly influenced by how we belong to a 'we' (Page 89).
"Also, we as human beings are exquisitely social: our brains are structured to be in relationship with other people in a way that shapes how the brain functions and develops" (Page 102).
"Many times, empathic and reflective comments can help your child move past his frustration at not getting what he wanted. However, even if the parent offers the most supportive response, a child may still feel upset and adamant about his desire, no matter what you say or do. Allowing your child to have his distress without trying to punish him or indulge him can offer him the opportunity to learn how to tolerate his own emotional discomfort. You do not have to fix the situation by giving in or by trying to get rid of his uncomfortable feelings. Letting your child have his emotion and letting him know that you understand that it's hard not to get what he wants is the kindest and most helpful think you can do for your child at that moment" (Page 190).
(I added the emphasis in the last quote because this paragraph might be my favorite excerpt from any parenting book ever.)
More specifically, this book was written for parents who are healing from their childhoods for any number of reasons. It's also an important read for professionals who work directly with children or their parents. It's one I will return to again and again and recommend to the parents with whom I work. If you feel like you might be the target audience, I urge you to get this book. It just might be the first step on the road to a new life.