What I'm Reading
At times I found this book engaging, at other moments it was downright tedious. Likewise, I found some of the information useful and other parts fairly redundant. If you plan to read it, I suggest focusing on the chapters you find compelling while skipping the ones that are not of interest. There’s no need to read the entire book sequentially, and I wouldn’t recommend it.
“My sense is that parents often engage in hyperparenting, overprotection, and overprogramming, in part at least, because they are concerned about how their parenting looks to others. They may even do something they don’t believe in because society prescribes it as the right thing to do” (Page 64).
“Hyperparenting gets in the way of seeing our children as separate individuals and from supporting the healthy ways in which they are different from us” (page 78).
“Because we adults see the external world as independent of our mental activity, we fail to appreciate how much the infant and young child have to learn during the early years. We are not born knowing what things are sweet and what sour, what things are blue and what green. We are not born knowing that one and the same thing can be two things at once. As adults we have trouble believing that we do not come into the world aware that some objects fall when you let them go, and that some objects float in water while others sink. The external world seems so real that it is difficult to comprehend that young children don’t see and know the same world we do. Yet they do not” (Page 101).
“When we discipline lightheartedly, we accomplish three important goals. First, we manage our own negative feelings in a positive and constructive way. Second, we provide our children an effective and constructive way of handling their own emotions. Third, we provide a healthy model of parenting for our children to use when they themselves have children. We have to remember that while our children’s unacceptable behavior is short lived, how we handle that behavior has long lasting consequences” (page 178).
“When we set aside a time for children to talk about their experiences, to put them into words, it helps them make these experiences personally meaningful. Talking about their experiences gives children a richer sense of who and what they are. In turn, as we listen to our children talk about their experience, we get a deeper insight into their everyday lives” (page 192).